You Might Be An Idiot

Inspired by my fellow commuters, I have composed this ( hopefully humorous ) list, in the style of Jeff Foxworthy.


Our world is complex. The things we need to do to get by are getting more complex everyday. Things like keeping track of time, being able to make exact change, the ability to read and understand a train schedule or roadmap. Modern society expects a lot from us.

Sometimes we're not up to the task. People who drive cars end up in traffic jams or in "accidents". People miss trains or airplanes. People get lost (even when they have a map). People get hurt and end up in the emergency room.

Studies show that many of the above situations are caused by idiots. The problem with idiots ... is that that don't know that they're idiots. That's about to change. Any one of us might be an idiot. You might be an idiot. The list below is provided to help you determine whether or not you're an idiot.


If you saw something on TV, and they said, "Don't try this at home", but you did anyway ... you might be an idiot.

If you never drive in the right lane on the expressway, even when the right lane is clear ... you might be an idiot.

If you frequently get into arguments, but you never seem to win them ... you might be an idiot.

If nothing, I mean nothing, ever turns out as you plan ... you might be an idiot.

If people frequently roll their eyes or sigh when you speak ... you might be an idiot.

If you think that because you saw someone else do it, it's ok for you to do it ... you might be an idiot.

If you think that you have a lot of problems that other people don't seem to have ... you might be an idiot.

If you think that all those other people are "luckier" than you ... you might be an idiot.

If something went wrong, and you think that you can fix it by just trying again ... you might be an idiot.

If you think that you always have to answer your cell phone, no matter where you are ( in a public restroom, paying for groceries, taking a left turn ) ... you might be an idiot.

If you think that those people who can hear your conversation aren't listening to it ... you might be an idiot.

If you think that those people don't mind ... you might be an idiot.

If you could easily walk there, but you drive anyway ... you might be an idiot.

If you spent a lot of money on your truck, jacking it up 3 feet and adding huge mud tires, but you drive it on the expressway everyday ... you might be an idiot.

If you think that everyone else is an idiot ... you might be an idiot.


If you think you might be an idiot, don't panic. There may be something you can do about it. Try some of these suggestions:

1. Try asking for help ... often. Try out phrases like, "do you know how to ..." or "what would you think if I told you ..." or "would you ...".
   
2. Slow down. Try doing just one thing at a time. You might be good at things one-at-a-time.
   
3. Stop talking. Try listening to other people. They might have clues about how to avoid messing up.
   
   

Christian Video Games?

There is an article about Christian Video Games today at Yahoo! News.  These are apparently games that "have drawn a loyal following by combining biblical themes with mild action".

If memory serves, there were a lot of horribly violent acts committed in the name of religion.  Does repackaging your violent game to adopt a "Christian" theme earn you a first-class ticket to hell, or have you redeemed it and yourself because now you have taught children that violence is ok when you're absolutely certain that you are right?

There are a lot of puzzle games and other non-violent and amoral games on the market.  Perhaps these games would benefit from marketing them as "Christian"?  Would it be useful to have a symbol for games that marks them as "Kosher" for Christians? (grin)

From North Vancouver

North of the border we continue to be well.

Immigration-wise we've returned a bunch of documents on our PR (Permanent Residency -- the Canadian equivalent of a Green Card) and hope to be hearing back again. There are several possibilities, the mostly likely of which is that we'll be asked to go down to Seattle to be interviewed. Next most likely is probably that they'll just grant us the PR as we are certainly desirable aliens :-). In the meantime, we're getting a second Work Permit that will extend our stay past August until next May or so, just in case.

I'm doing little that's special economically, although we have a deal in the works to buy a company I've been contracting with on-and-off. We found an Angel who seems to be raising the money for me and another guy to be the new management team for this (poorly managed) company. We'll see if it goes anywhere. If it does, I'll almost certainly have to come down to the Bay Area to meet the other principals and sign papers (and have those papers checked out by a lawyer!), so maybe we could have a lunch.

I'm editing videos of services down for our local UU church and putting them online. I imagine it's hardly as interesting as what Dave's doing but it keeps my hand in. As a result I've had the innards out of my eMac swapping in a 200MB drive, but the real difference was the extra 1/2 gig of RAM -- the system now responds when FCE is doing something. :-) For the second year in a row I'm taking hundreds of pictures of Little League Baseball. Last year I actually sold a few -- I guess that makes me a semi-pro photographer.

Kids are well, and adapting well to being in school. This weekend was the big annual fundraising event for Mulgrave (Devi's school), and we've been crunching pretty hard. Sara's on the committee and wrote all their auction copy, while I shot photos of a bunch of the stuff and created several animations out of their logo for display during the event. As a black-tie event goes, it was only half-tedious, but at 6-7 hours long, it's waaay too long. Devi's having some prioritization problems with studying (especially with math), but we're working on it and she seems to be improving. Kiernan is doing well at Kenneth Gordon and we hope we'll be able to mainstream him after next year, moving him to Mulgrave for 8th grade.

I spend too much time reading blogs :-) and playing Counter-Strike: Condition Zero -- if you see a guy named "Grumpy" or "bufflao" on line and he's easy to kill, that's me.

David's here

(I originally posted this as a comment to Mike's "Inaugural Post" and then figured out how to create my own post.)


Just thought I'd follow up to let folks know I'm here too.

Other than enjoying every minute I have to spend with Nancy, Kiley and Zane, there are a few things that fairly often occupy my thoughts:

I'm thinking a lot about renewable energy (i.e. solar power, pluggable hybrid vehicles, etc.). I've been donating my time to www.calscars.org to help them convert video newsclips about pluggable hybrids into downloadable QuickTime movies. At some point soon, I may help them author a promo DVD.

I'm also regularly dismayed by news out of Washington, D.C. but try to keep my spirits up through the humor of Morning Sedition and the Al Franken Show on Air America. Because our local AM station for Air America has lousy coverage and has shifted Morning Sedition to 3am to make room for Jerry Springer, I now do all my Air America listening through podcasts.

My patience with FreeHand Systems is wearing a little thin these days. Until recently I was just happy to be employed but lately, being underpaid for much longer than advertised and some examples of gross financial mismanagement leave me longing for something different.

I've been exploring the idea of charging for recording and production services in my studio. I'm having to weigh the desire to generate money with the facility against the desire to avoid having a stream of strangers parading through our property. I would prefer to emphasize sound editing work that allows me to use the facility without bringing many people in...

More than anything, I still miss being surrounded by a bunch of great friends. FreeHand is just too dang small. I've become very good friends with Kevin but otherwise just don't have the social outlet I had at Adobe. Bummer.

The Inaugural Post

Hey, man.  We're gettin' the band back together.

This is a place to share our triumphs or frustrations, amazement or concern.  It's a place to solicit advice, spread awareness, or commiserate.  It's a place to tell a good joke, post a link to something funny, or show off pictures of your kids.

At one time, we all worked together, and we'd have these discussions in the hallway or at lunch.  Sometimes they were deep or profound.  Sometimes they were absurd.  It didn't matter.  It still doesn't.  (grin)

We're spread all over the place now, and it's a bit tricky to get everybody together for lunch on 10 minutes notice, but here -- on this blog -- we can still share and connect.  Please feel free to post anything that you'd like the rest of us to see.  For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to act as admin, but I'll happily grant any reasonable request.

My initial concept is that we will restrict posting/commenting access to a very small group of people -- people who still wince when someone uses the phrase "Core Tech", but just as we always welcomed new people into our band then, I'm happy to add people to this blog too.  Just send me a msg which includes the email address of the person you'd like to invite and I'll get them set up.